by Patsy Rae Dawson—
Christians and 50 Shades of Grey fans alike can learn from Biblical teachings on sex!
Most Christians know instinctively that sexually punishing and degrading women is wrong, and many of their blogs and articles rightly focus on the physical and emotional abuse rampant in the Fifty Shades of Grey trilogy. But when they attempt to discuss the sexual aspects of the books, many of them know only to hide their eyes and cry, "Porn!"
Christians' articles, and especially their blog comments, frequently reveal gross ignorance about God's plans for lovemaking. Quoting their trite words denouncing the series, fans of the trilogy often ridicule Christians' prudishness in their own blog comments and articles.
God commands Christians to be sexually knowledgeable
Contrary to their often willful ignorance about sex God commands Christians in 1 Thessalonians 4:3-5:
"For this is the will of God, your sanctification: that is, that you abstain from sexual immorality; that each of you know how to possess his own vessel in sanctification and honor, not in lustful passion, like the Gentiles who do not know God..."
God states that he wants us as Christians to enjoy something better than the lustful passion of the Gentiles—a sanctified sexual life. In other words, God wants Christians to "know" about lovemaking so they can delight in chandelier-hanging sex. It's not enough for us to say, "I never think impure thoughts or cheat on my mate. And I certainly don't engage in sadism, masochism, or humiliation."
God expects much more of us. He wants us to say, "I enjoy better sex than the Gentiles—particularly better sex than Grey and Ana. I know the secret for enjoying a vaginal orgasm—something the Gentiles naively assume doesn't exist. My wonderful sex life is visible in the spring in my step, the sparkle in my eyes, and the smile playing with my mouth. And you can especially see it in the loving way I treat my spouse and children."
God wants Christians' love lives to testify to the power of his greatest creation—the way of a man with a maid in Proverbs 30:19, giving her sexual pleasure beyond description in the form of a vaginal orgasm.
Instead, the world often snickers at Christians' sexual ignorance and criticism of Fifty Shades of Grey. Until God's people learn how to possess their own sexual vessels in sanctification and honor that rejoices in God's creation, Fifty Shades of Grey will continue to ensnare lonely men and women starved for affection.
Clitoral orgasms in Fifty Shades of Grey vs. vaginal orgasms in the Song of Solomon
Obviously, author E.L. James knows a lot about some forms of passionate lovemaking. Her descriptions of Ana Steel's clitoral orgasms are very graphic and right on. In the early 1970s, Dr. Marie N. Robinson stated in her book The Power of Sexual Surrender that just reading a description of a vaginal orgasm was all some women needed to experience one. Perhaps James' descriptions of a woman's enjoyment of her own sexual responses is part of what turns women on to the series—they are learning for the first time what a clitoral orgasm feels like.
In the Song of Solomon, the young Shulammite maiden says that her mother taught her how to please a man and how to enjoy lovemaking (Song of Solomon 8:1-3). Women at the time of the Song of Solomon knew how to exercise their Kegel muscles to strengthen their pelvic floor without knowing the modern term for it. They knew how to experience a vaginal orgasm by tapping into the most important sexual organ of all—their brain. The Shulammite's mother taught her that for sex to be a chandelier-hanging affair, a woman needs to find a soulmate before lovemaking.
For forty years, I've taught women how to enjoy a vaginal orgasm in my classes and in my book God's People Make the Best Lovers. Any woman who has experienced both orgasms knows the physical sensations of a vaginal orgasm are far superior to those of a clitoral orgasm.
A clitoral orgasm does not require love or an emotional involvement with the man. Grey has mastered the art of giving a woman a clitoral orgasm. Even with Grey's perverted use of painful bondage and punishment, a sexually naive woman can respond to the right manipulations. Proverbs 7 describes a wife who delights in clitoral orgasms. I devote a whole chapter in God's People Make the Best Lovers to her hang-ups that trap her in sub-standard pleasures.
Sexual responses are learned. Fortunately, bad sexual habits can be unlearned. And Christian women ought to be able to teach young women how to enjoy the ultimate pleasure in lovemaking—a vaginal orgasm (Titus 2:3-5).
Fans of Fifty Shades of Grey often reveal they are starved for true sexual love. The world wants what God gives freely to Christians through study of his word, yet too many Christians turn up their noses at God's free gift.
Fifty Shades of Grey denies a woman the right to a vaginal orgasm
In the first sex scene in Fifty Shades of Grey, Grey brutally deflowers the 21-year-old Ana. He whispers, "We'll have to train you to stay still" and "keep quiet" during sex. Any woman who has had to keep quiet while making love at someone's house knows how inhibiting it is to tone down her vocal and physical responses to her husband's moves. Yet Grey states his mission is to make Ana the perfect sexual partner for himself—to turn her into a physically frigid woman while somehow keeping her emotionally engaged. This is impossible for women who regularly enjoy vaginal orgasms.
Like Ana's sultry inner goddess who argues with her frigid subconscious, causing her to be so conflicted about how to react to Grey, many fans defiantly reject society's sermons that "nice girls don't like sex." Ignorant religious teachings from the Dark Ages don't help! Although God teaches more about the sexual relationship than any other area of marriage, including subjection, many Christian women still assert, "God wants me to be a dud in bed."
Now fans are giving Fifty Shades of Grey to their husbands or reading sections to them and saying, "I want you to make the earth move for me," but they don’t know enough about a wonderful vaginal orgasm to recognize how sick and depraved Grey's abuse of Ana is—how he is really cheating her out of the joy of experiencing wonderful orgasms.