Patsy Rae Dawson
I attended a 3-day professional seminar on public speaking. During our time together, each attendee gave six speeches from our individual genres. By the end of our training, we were familiar with each others passions. One of the participants was Bob, who gave me permission to share two of his e-mails if I would protect his identity, so I changed his name. Here is his exciting final analysis of what grew out of our brief email exchange:
My bags were packed, I was meeting with a divorce lawyer, and I was searching for a place to live…Then I took your Marriage Inventory…
Now that you’ve seen the turning point of Bob’s story, here’s what happened from the beginning. Soon after I returned home, Bob e-mailed me:
I apologize for not being more personable and prepared at the event. I had several personal, painful problems leading up to it culminating with my decision to end my seven-year marriage upon arriving home.
So, I just wasn’t myself but I’ll be OK, not sure why I feel so safe sharing this with you, but I do.
Bob (not his real name)
I e-mailed him back and asked if he’d be willing to take a “Marriage Inventory” to help clarify his thinking. When he said yes, I sent it to him. He responded:
Here’s what happened…last night my wife and I decided to split up – well I really decided to give up and leave (long story). I just felt that I couldn’t continue and had to move out – she cried, I cried, we talked a little and went to our separate corners with her and I both convinced it was finally over.
I couldn’t sleep. I tossed and turned, and then went to the computer thinking I’d write her a letter. But first I checked my email and there’s your Marriage Inventory. I figure OK let’s try this…I print it out and read the stories and go through it.
Reading the questions, I realize that we have no “real” big problems we can’t overcome.
We’ve both been faithful, non violent, non abusive – affection or connection and time together may be lacking, a compelling vision for our future together has maybe been lacking and we sure could use some communication improvement. But all of these can be fixed with some time and attention.
I realized there are no big deal breakers in our relationship, so I wrote her a letter, (first I reread some of my letters that I sent her when we first got together)…I shared my heart and my frustrations and concerns – I woke her at two am and read the letter to her—I love her—she loves me—I felt alone and so did she—etc.
There’s a bunch more to the story and together we’ve fought through a lot, but I didn’t think she cared anymore. Now I know she does, and the best part is she wants it to work...and so do I.
We’ve decided to go on a marriage retreat weekend together to help us refocus, rebuild, and to try to heal our wounds to get a fresh start.
How’s that for a turnaround and a testimony?
I cannot thank you enough for taking the time out to help me and I feel truly blessed that God put us together at this time in my life. My deepest and sincere appreciation, for you have been an angel who descended into my life and helped me when I needed it most.
In gratitude and love,
PS It blows me away how this worked out – my bags were packed, I scheduled a meeting with a divorce lawyer and I was searching for a new place to live but I guess God had other plans…thanks from the bottom of my heart.
Take the Marriage Inventory (10 Questions to Take Your Marriage to a New Level) I sent Bob to see where your marriage is and how you can change it.
Patsy Rae Dawson is the most outspoken Christian woman on sex and is a marriage, sex, and divorce coach. She works with clients who have tried almost everything to save their sexless marriage without much success. A dead bedroom is only one symptom of 24/7 clustered love sins. Patsy helps clients get to the core issues in their sexless marriage so they can make healthy decisions for themselves and their children.