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God’s 4 Steps for Soulmating for a Lifetime of Ravishing Lovemaking

Patsy Rae Dawson

The twenty-first century touts soul mating without fully understanding or promoting the benefits. Yet for thousands of years, God patiently revealed the secret to a glorious lifetime of speaking love in each other's arms--taking care of the mental union to liberate the body for delights beyond description. Truly, God wondrously designed the man to be a lover all his life if he will take the time for soul mating at each stage of his journey.

Long before men and women started calling each other "soul mates," God taught his people that the most powerful sexual organ is the brain. By taking care of their minds first, they release their bodies to speak a beautiful language of love beyond description. While society parrots this idea, in practice, the love lives of many Christians lack luster and fulfillment.

Dr. Bernie Zilbergeld's 1978 groundbreaking book Male Sexuality began a public discussion of how men achieve physical pleasure. Even though he taught the value of soul mating, his failure to take a stand against sexual sin forced him to wrestle with the problems fornication creates with a man's pleasure without fully understanding God's basic truth of the power of the emotions. Over and over, his case histories lamented how disappointing sexual activity is with an anonymous or little-known partner. The men told him their joy improved if they first got to know the woman at least a little bit. (Bernie Zilbergeld, Ph.D., Male Sexuality [New York: Bantam, 1978].)

However, Dr. Zilbergeld did not advocate the same purity the Bible describes. As a result, his patients never got completely away from the need for techniques even though they put some effort into getting to know their partners before intimacy began. Taking Dr. Zilbergeld's advice to the limit, when a man builds on the emotional rapport he enjoys with his wife, his body takes care of its own responses.

Due to Victorian influences, many a modern woman views the man's sexual nature as pure animal lust that cares nothing for her as a person, just a human receptacle for his passions. Such an attitude makes many women feel used and degraded. While some sensual men deserve that label, most husbands rise far above it. God magnificently designed the man the opposite from such an ungodly view. The more a husband loves his wife as an intelligent and worthwhile person, the more his body thrills to her presence. The more a man delights in sexual love with his wife, the more she should feel loved, cherished, and nourished. Truly, a husband pays his wife a great compliment when he first bonds emotionally with her so that his body surrenders to total ravishment in her arms.

The human male--what a wonderful creation by God! A loving woman who yields fully to her destiny delights in God's masculine masterpiece--her husband who showers so much pleasure upon her! God emphasizes the keys to both the man's and the woman's sexual joy by telling the husband to take care of the mental union during the four phases of his life with his wife:

Awaken Love Before Marriage

Song of Solomon 8:4: "`I adjure you, O daughters of Jerusalem, by the gazelles or by the hinds of the field, that you will not arouse or awaken my [our-PRD] love, until she [it-NASV footnote] pleases. . . . Beneath the apple tree I awakened you; there your mother was in labor with you, there she was in labor and gave you birth.'"

"Arouse" and "awaken" come from the same root word which means" (through the idea of opening the eyes); to wake" (Strong, p. 86).

"Pleases" means "to incline to; to bend; to be pleased with, desire:-any at all, (have, take) delight, favour, like, move, be (well) pleased, have pleasure, will, would" (Strong, p. 42).

The italics on "my" show the translators added it to make the meaning of the verse clearer. Unfortunately, the addition of the word limits the theme of the Song of Solomon to the arousal of love in just the woman's heart. However, a study of the book shows that the story teaches how true love develops for both the man and the woman.

Thus, in the theme of the Song of Solomon the Shulammite begged the maidens not to force Solomon upon her before love swelled in their hearts for each other. Marriage, without this awakening of love, in both the man and the woman begins a miserable existence for each of them. Not a foreplay ritual, this arousal of love comes from deliberately joining their minds before they join their bodies--soul mating before physical mating.

A country girl, the Shulammite learned from her mother that even the gazelles and hinds of the field know enough to go through elaborate mating rituals to win over the emotions of the intended female. Thus, she gave Solomon's citified maidens a lesson in biology that reveals God's design for husbands and wives.

After the Shulammite chose the Shepherd over King Solomon, the Shepherd revealed his secret for winning her love and developing his own affections. He spent lots of time with her in her own back yard talking to her--sharing his ideals and goals for life, listening to hers, and planning their life together--cementing their emotional bond. Through this time together, he awoke her body for the pleasures of physical love by first developing an intimate relationship with her mind.

God put his stamp of approval upon their soul mating:

Song of Solomon 5:1: "Eat, friends; Drink and imbibe deeply, O lovers."

Thus, God declared, "Get married and get drunk on married lovemaking, for great is the joy I've created for you when you dare to spend time becoming soul mates before marriage."

To ensure mankind's continued enjoyment of the sexual relationship, God issued three commands to husbands to not allow earning a living to distract them from keeping the emotional bonds strong with their wives. God created the strong sexual desires in both men and women; and to him, no worldly success is worth sacrificing a glorious love life. How sad when couples miss out on this special gift from God who told the Shulammite and Shepherd to get drunk on married lovemaking.

Give Happiness to His Wife When First Married

Ideally, God plans for a year-long honeymoon to start the happy couple on their journey to a lifetime of sexual compatibility:

Deut. 24:5: "When a man takes a new wife, he shall not go out with the army, nor be charged with any duty; he shall be free at home one year and shall give happiness [cheer up-KJV] to his wife whom he has taken."

"Give happiness" or "cheer up" means "to brighten up, (make) blithe or gleesome-cheer up, be (make) glad, (have, make) joy (-ful), be (make) merry, (cause to, make to) rejoice" (Strong, p. 118).

Through the law of Moses, God instructed the bridegroom to "be free at home," and to spend the first year of his marriages "giving happiness" to his bride. It takes time and practice to lay a good foundation for a lifetime of loving and sharing the problems of life. For this reason, God told the new husband not to leave with the army, or to take on work responsibilities such as a traveling job or extra duties in the camp, etc. God wanted the bridegroom free to devote his time to cheering up his wife and strengthening their emotional and physical bonds.

Tim and Beverly LaHaye recommend in The Act of Marriage that a newlywed couple not get a television the first year. He claims television robs a couple of their energy and kills sexual desire. Not having one removes the temptation to watch it and forces them to spend time talking and going places together. This helps establish lasting romance in their marriage. (Tim & Beverly LaHaye, The Act of Marriage [Grand Rapids, MI: Zondervan, 1978].)

Many couples today fail to recognize the benefits behind God's law to the Jews. They get married to end the courtship and get on to more important work. They may marry just before the man ships out overseas. Then he may come home, not to a new bride, but to a young mother who must combine the adjustments of motherhood with learning to live with her still new husband.

Others get married while the man goes to school and the wife works to pay the expenses. He reasons that marriage will take a lot less time than dating and will enable him to get on with his education so he can support her later. He falsely thinks marriage will give him time to study every evening and even into the morning hours without distraction. As one college wife said, "Everyone knows being married to a college student is a good birth control method." Then, when he graduates, he faces the pressures of a new career, and they may never enjoy a honeymoon year of gladness.

Unfortunately, total sexual fulfillment forever evades many such couples. In effect, they placed the military and developing a career above laying the foundation for a wonderful love life.

God's love for mankind shows in his command to Jewish husbands to devote that first year to rejoicing with their wives-to laying a foundation of mutual joy and satisfaction to bless the rest of their lives. A modern bride should be so fortunate as to marry a husband who spends the first year making her blithe, gleesome, glad, joyful, merry, and full of rejoicing as only a husband knows how! And what a wonderful language of love their bodies learn to speak for a lifetime!

Enjoy His Wife During the Middle Years

After the honeymoon, God instructs the husband to keep his priorities straight:

Eccl. 9:9: "Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun; for this is your reward in life, and in your toil in which you have labored under the sun."

"Love" means "to have affection for (sexually or otherwise)" (Strong, p. 9).

The normal man takes his responsibilities to provide for his wife and children seriously-probably more seriously than most women comprehend. However, Ecclesiastes warns the man about the dangers false priorities of making his career, rather than his success as a family man, the purpose of his life. The chief reward God gives the man for working to make a living is enjoying life with the woman he loves.

This requires spending time with her to fully share both the problems and joys of life. God created a woman to satisfy the man's need for someone to confide in, to share his triumphs as well as his disappointments, and to believe in him when the world doesn't understand or take the time to see his point of view.

Failure to build this emotional bond in courtship and the first years of marriage makes a man susceptible to emotional affairs with women he works with. John Sandford calls this "spiritual adultery" in his book Why Good People Mess Up: Keys to Upright Living in a Seductive World. Such emotional affairs lay the groundwork for physical acts of adultery because God intends for soul mating to enhance sexual gratification and to take place in the home, not the office. (John Loren Sandford, Why Good People Mess Up [Lake Mary, FL: Charisma House, 2007].)

Many wives will identify with the wife's pain in Sanford's book as they recognize their own husbands' emotional neglect while he gives what belongs exclusively to them to other women. God intended for husbands to work at soul mating and confiding in their wives so that the wife, not the other woman, is their best friend.

To some men, the idea of spending private time with their wives seems like a strange way to describe a loving man. Yet women recognize the connection immediately! Perhaps the greatest unfulfilled longing in the heart of most wives is the absence of both quality time and romance with their husbands. Note that God placed this responsibility for soul mating on the husband's shoulders. The man's reward for soul mating with his wife? Heightened physical sensations-the key to why sex is better sometimes than others.

The man's drive to subdue the earth often hides from him the benefits of quality time with his wife. Seeking ego satisfaction and financial security for his family deceives some men into sacrificing their wives and their families. Sometimes a man realizes the void in his family life but fails to see the connection between it and his priorities. He unjustly blames his wife for his emptiness. Just as women desperately need balance in their daily lives as caretakers of the home, men need to balance God's command to subdue the earth with God's declaration, "It is not good for the man to be alone."

In Male Sexuality, Dr. Zilbergeld says many men find it difficult to leave their work at the office. Bringing their job worries, pressures, and frustrations home kills their desires and numbs their pleasures. He says men need to learn how to relax. (Zilbergeld, Male Sexuality, pp. 150 and 157.)

He explains that sexual joy increases with age for couples who work at promoting trust, cooperation, and understanding each other. Other couples, however, become bored with each other after just a few years. He said the most common reason for a lack of interest was "relationships with little feeling left in them." (Zilbergeld, Male Sexuality, pp. 217-219.)

Yet three thousand years ago God told the man to spend time enjoying his wife-that the time spent with her was part of God's reward for subduing the earth. This formula for happiness still promotes a healthy emotional bond along with ecstatic sexual experiences-even in the space age. No techniques can satisfy for long the emotional hunger in a marriage. Only sincerity bridges the gulf between two lovers to unite their bodies and minds in supreme sexual love.

Rejoice in His Wife During the Golden Years

When the man loses vigor through age, God instructs him to continue to be ravished with the expression of his wife's emotional involvement with him in the giving of her body. Indeed, older wives make the best lovers of all because of a lifetime of soul mating during the day fulfilled in each other's arms during the night. How wonderful for men and women to finish out their days with love radiating from their eyes, voices, and bodies because they followed God's plan for glorious soul mating and lovemaking.

Prov. 5:18-19: "Let your fountain be blessed, and rejoice in the wife of your youth. As a loving hind and a graceful doe, let her breasts satisfy you at all times; be exhilarated always with her love."

The "wife of his youth" is the young girl a man married as a young man, now they are both much older. If a man lays the foundation for a good marriage and a happy love life during courtship, if he devotes the first year of marriage to strengthening the emotional and physical bonds between them, if he makes his wife and family his priority during the height of his career, then when he enters the golden years of his marriage, he will feel blessed as he rejoices in the wife of his youth.

Couples who follow God's wisdom in their daily lives as they learn how to get along with one another and how to solve problems know that sexual love gets better with physical age, mental maturity, and practice. Indeed, they become a marvelous team whose bodies speak greater love to each other than during the hot passion of their youth.

Opposed to God's teaching, Sylvanus Stall taught in his 1901 Victorian guide What A Man of Forty-Five Ought to Know that after forty-five a man was all used up. Not only did he teach that sexual activity should cease, he also cautioned the man not to start any new business ventures--that his brain couldn't stand the stimulation. (Sylvanus Stall, What A Man of Forty-Five Ought to Know [Philadelphia, PA: The Vir Publishing Co., 1901].)

At the beginning of the twentieth century, people thought women wanted only a mental union with their husbands while men wanted only the physical act. Today scientists affirm women want both mental and physical coupling with their husbands. The researchers also know men don't fully enjoy the physical relationship without the mental union. Both the husband and wife need the mental plus the physical for an ecstatic embrace of love for a whole lifetime.

Now the twenty-first century touts soul mating without fully understanding or promoting the benefits. Yet for thousands of years, God patiently revealed the keys to a glorious lifetime of speaking love in each other arms--taking care of the mental union to liberate the body for delights beyond description. Truly, God wondrously designed the man to be a lover all his life if he will take the time for soul mating at each stage of his journey. Such a loving creator deserves to be served wholeheartedly. Yes! Even in bed!

WARNING!

Why you SHOULD NOT read God's People Make the Best Lovers:

  • Not a sexually timid book
  • Plainly teaches women how to enjoy two types of orgasms
  • Tells why a different woman every night can't satisfy a man's deepest needs
  • Not a quick, easy read
  • Most comprehensive material available explores over 400 scriptures
  • No proof texting, but real study with word definitions
  • Not a warm, fuzzy, feel-good book
  • Credits God for designing the sexual relationship and knowing how it works best
  • Exposes sexually defrauding one's mate as sin that destroys the marriage
  • Not a quick fix, but an effective help
  • Based on God's formula for solving all marriage problems in I Timothy 4:1-5
  • Gives homework to help readers make lasting changes in the bedroom

Who SHOULD study God's People Make the Best Lovers:

  • Those who want a better love life than the world offers
  • Those willing to learn from the Creator who designed sunsets and undersea wonders
  • Those willing to practice speaking an incredible language of love that transcends spoken words
  • Those who want to say, "Wow! It's true! God's people really do make the best lovers!"

Male reader's feedback:

You get it. I've read lots of books and articles, and lots of authors get part of it. But you get the whole thing.

Order God's People Make the Best Lovers now so you can start learning God's great sexual secrets next week and transform your marriage.

Permission to Reproduce Soul Mating for a Lifetime of Ravishing Lovemaking: God's 4 Steps

Soul Mating for a Lifetime of Ravishing Lovemaking: God's 4 Steps by Patsy Rae Dawson. Copyright © 2009 Patsy Rae Dawson LLC. All rights reserved.

Soul Mating for a Lifetime of Ravishing Lovemaking: God's 4 Steps by Patsy Rae Dawson is available at PatsyRaeDawson.com. It may be copied for noncommercial use only, provided you do the following: 1. Retain all copyright, trademark and propriety notices; 2. Make no modifications to the materials; 3. Do not use the materials in a manner that suggests an association with Patsy Rae Dawson LLC; and; 4. Do not download quantities of materials to a database, server, or personal computer for reuse for commercial purposes. You may not use this material in any other way without prior written permission. For additional permissions, contact Patsy Rae Dawson LLC at Patsy@PatsyRaeDawson.com.

 

 

FREE Marriage and Lovemaking Booklets and Chapters by Patsy Rae Dawson

Male and Female: God's Genius! A tremendous amount of evidence surfaced in recent years to prove God's genius in designing the male's and the female's bodies and minds and the way they work together.

Why God's People Make the Best Lovers: Surveys prove that practicing God's rules for lovemaking liberates both the man and the woman for total rapture in the arms of the mate.

Adultery & Sexual Addiction: A Plan for Healing the Soul and the Marriage: Sexual sin is rapidly becoming the number-one marriage problem facing Christians, but God offers a 3-part formula for overcoming it.

Safe Sex: What They Don't Tell You: Since public schools leave God out of sex education, the subject is approached from the viewpoint of a person who just wants to have fun without consideration of God's laws.

The Victims of Victorian Morals: Chapter 3 in Vol. II: God's People Make the Best Lovers shows how Victorian morals continue to victimize sexual love and to cheat countless couples out of the truly happy relationship God desires.