Congregational Without Natural Affection Self-Assessment Reflective Survey

This survey is adapted for churches from the Sexless Marriages & Without Natural Affection Self-Assessment Reflective Survey.

The results of 6 checklists of intensely personal simple questions help you address the various marriage problems of your members.


Why Participate?

To Help Christians Rise to Their Full Potential in All Areas

Almost every person who participated in the first edition of the Sexless Marriages & Without Natural Survey checked that they never rise to their full potential in one or more of the following areas:

  • 81% as a spouse
  • 40% as a parent
  • 58% as a Christian
  • 23% as an employee or boss

What will the statistics will reveal for your congregation?

Successful corporations would be alarmed by these numbers for their employees and managers. To avoid this problem, they routinely hire outside organizations to conduct surveys to help management increase productivity and lower turnover and burnout. We should care as much about our fellow laborers for the Lord and ourselves.

Sin in the Home Makes the Congregations’ Worship Vain

What goes on in the home doesn’t stay there—it molds future generations. A person’s home of origin and marriage impact every aspect of a person’s life—especially their faith and religious activities. Additionally, because of hidden problems in the home, God does not accept the spiritual service and prayers of religious leaders who mistreat their wives.

1 Peter 3:7: “You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered.”

This is a serious problem for congregations. Many congregations are naive about the sins that go on behind closed doors. This survey gives the elders and spiritual leaders a clear picture of what their members need in the way of teaching and encouragement.

A Lack of Love Leads to Atheism and Loss of Members

Many congregations complain about losing their young people. Atheism is on the rise among young people raised by Christian parents who are anything but loving at home. Read my article about the adult child of parents who acted loving at services, but fought on the way home. Scroll down to see the statistics on the rise of atheism. These adult children view their parents as hypocrites who preach love on Sunday morning, but don’t even like each other the rest of the time.

The Survey Assesses 19 Clustered Love Sins

The survey you participated in addresses inner-personal relationships in a thorough manner based on 19 clustered love sins from God’s word that surround being without natural affection:

2 Timothy 3:1-5: “But realize this, that in the last days difficult times will come. For men will be (1) lovers of self, (2) lovers of money, (3) boastful, (4) arrogant, (5) revilers, (6) disobedient to parents, (7) ungrateful, (8) unholy, (9) unloving [without natural affection for family], (10) irreconcilable, (11) malicious gossips, (12) without self-control, (13) brutal, (14) haters of good, (15) treacherous, (16) reckless, (17) conceited, (18) of pleasure rather than lovers of God, (19) holding to a form of godliness, although they have denied its power; Avoid such men as these.”

These 19 clustered love sins expose the common problems found in marriages. The 24/7 abuses of dirty fighting, financial issues, judging motives, childish problem-solving techniques, sexual addiction and adultery, dead bedrooms, child-raising difficulties, etc. revolve around being without natural affection. The survey deals with sensitive, embarrassing topics in a safe way.

Benefits of a Congregational Survey

Here’s some advantages of doing an anonymous, privacy-protecting Congregational Without Natural Affection Self-Assessment Reflective Survey:

  1. Members who are embarrassed by their marriage problems can request help anonymously.
  2. If the congregation is studying God’s word together regarding marriage and lovemaking, it will create healthy dialogue among the members, which will reinforce change.
  3. Members who don’t know how to approach their mate about problems or are afraid of backlash can begin to fine tune their understanding of God’s word together in a non-threatening way.
  4. The participating members will get the three free eReports to begin healing their souls and marriages (Everyone Is an Adult Child, Which Are You? Codependent Enabler, Narcissistic Abuser, or Passionate Lover, and Analyze Your Answers)
  5. Without knowing everyone’s dirty laundry, members can support each other in becoming more loving.
  6. Many problems are based on ignorance and growing up in a dysfunctional home of origin. Public teaching and discussion on relevant topics helps dispel this ignorance.
  7. Members who put the scriptures into practice and become more loving at home will standout before others in the congregation as it will show in their demeanor and the way they treat their spouse, children, and others. It will make others want to solve their problems, too.
  8. As families become more loving, fewer young people will reject their parents’ faith. The greatest cause of skepticism and atheism is growing up in an unloving, sexless home.
  9. Ephesians 5:22-31 teaches that our marriages should be a visual aid of the love that Christ has for the church. Working on marriages will enable members to reflect Christ’s love.
  10. As the congregation becomes more loving, non-Christians will be curious and want to know more. Pagans in the first century said, “What marriages those Christians have!”
  11. Your members will become better qualified to help others with their problems. Many students have started classes in their neighborhood around their dining room table.
  12. Helping families become more loving will help qualify more men and women to serve the congregation in leadership and helping positions.
  13. It gives your congregation resources and trains members to offer genuine help to individuals struggling with sexual addiction, a huge underground problem in many congregations.
  14. It provides trained members for loving husbands and wives to use as witnesses to apply peer pressure to stubborn spouses who refuse to give up their addiction to intimacy anorexia—being addicted to withholding sex and causing emotional and physical pain. (My experience is that most congregations do more harm than good because of a lack of accurate knowledge about sexual matters.)
  15. These are just a few of the ongoing benefits of a congregational survey and study.

Your congregation will never be the same after participating in this groundbreaking survey and following up with much needed study programs to promote love among your members.

Want More Information About the Survey?

The Sexless Marriages & Without Natural Affection Self-Assessment Reflective Survey gives detailed information about the contents of this survey. It also tells about the three free eReports each of your participating members will receive.

The main difference between the two surveys is that the focus of your congregational survey along with the analysis and profile of the results will be on being without natural affection and marriage problems in general--not just sexless marriages. In nearly all severe marriage problems, being without natural affection weighs heavily on the issues.

"Sexless marriages" and "dead bedrooms" are the #1 googled marriage problem for both men and women. My over 40-years experience in being the confidante of both husbands and wives is that sexless marriages are the #1 congregational problem as well. Sometimes I wonder, "Are there any sexually loving Christians out there?" You will probably be surprised at the number of sexless marriages in your congregation.

How the Survey Works

When your congregation participates, I will set the survey up with a unique URL (web address) for only your members. Identifying questions will be removed so that members’ answers are truly anonymous even to the elders and other workers who might access the results. Questions will be added to give members a chance to make anonymous comments and requests to your congregational leaders.

After the survey closes, you will receive an analysis of the answers and a profile of the marriage problems in your congregation including statistics for the various issues. Additionally, you will receive a set of resources for a suggested teaching program along with recommendations on how to proceed.

The survey is free for your members to take and complete the self-assessment of their marriage. Participants will have access to the three eReports to begin healing their marriage on their own.

The post-survey workup for your congregation along with supporting materials will be billed according to how many members participate. Contact me with questions, for the price for setting up a Congregational Without Natural Affection Survey, and for advice on how to approach your leadership at Patsy at