6 Steps to Sexual Comfort after Virginity Pledge

Patsy Rae Dawson

Embrace God's gift of sex.

Virginity Pledges for Men Can Lead to Sexual Confusion — Even After the Wedding Day is a paper sociology doctoral candidate Sarah Diefendorf presented August 17, 2014 to the American Sociological Association.

She interviewed 15 young evangelical Christian men after they made a pledge to keep their virginity and documented their struggles to keep their vow. Several years later, she reconnected with them after 14 of them married. Instead of embracing the gift of sex, the men continued to have sexual issues.

Diefendorf argued, "These men have gotten so used to thinking about sex as something negative that they bring those concerns with them to the marriage bed."

People make virginity pledges for a variety of reasons, not all of them religious. For example, they may simply think abstinence is the easiest and best way to avoid STDs. An unwanted pregnancy may have changed a friend's or relative's life in a negative way. They may be so soured on marriage because of their parents that they've sworn off marriage and kids until a special someone changed their mind.

At any rate, if you've focused on the so-called evils of sex to keep yourself celibate until marriage, it can wreak havoc in your new intimate relationship like it did for the young evangelicals. Regardless of the source of uncomfortableness, here's 6 steps to feeling sexually comfortable after your virginity pledge ends.

Go to YourTango.com to read the original article and learn about the six steps to overcome negativity in your sex life:

Step 1: Examine the love in your home of origin. 

Step 2: Talk about sex before and after marriage.

Step 3: Turn the discussion of sex into exciting homework.

Step 4: Overcome the 'beastly by romancing like the animals'.

Step 5: Wake up to your (wet) dreams.

Step 6: Have fun with breast orgasms.

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