Dr. Robinsons begins:
The resolution of inhibitions, which is an emotional problem, is a process, a process with a beginning, a middle, and an end. To put this process in motion and to maintain it, two distinct steps are necessary.

The first step is to grasp the problem objectively, to understand its nature and implications, and learn all the outside facts about it. We have now taken this first all-important step [in the previous 15 chapters]. If you have read thus far, you now know a great many objective facts about inhibitions in the bedroom.

What You Have Learned About Inhibitions Thus Far

You have learned what inhibitions are and the toll they exact. You have seen why men and women are subject to problems and how they originate in the individual, and the different forms they may take. You have seen how men and women have tried to eschew sex entirely. You have seen why their unhappy attempts can be successful, why they are inherent in biological and psychological possibilities.

Objective Understanding Frees One from False Solutions

This kind of objective understanding frees one from prejudice and prevents one from seeking false solutions (which abound). It brings one face to face with the real nature of the dilemma of marital inhibitions, its basic psychological structure. And it uncovers the hidden area where personal responsibility lies.

*PRD: God’s Formula Teaches the First Step of Objectivity

When I read The Power of Sexual Surrender in 1973, this chapter opened my eyes to God’s amazing truth in 1 Timothy 4:1-10. Prior to that time, I’d wondered how these scriptures applied to marriage. The truth? Dr. Robinson’s 2-step process mirrors the formula the Apostle Paul gave over 2000 years ago for enjoying a passionate marriage for a lifetime.

Paul Warned About the Coming of False Teachings About Marriage

Paul gave this formula in the context of warning that in later times, doctrines of demons would be taught regarding marriage—God’s proudest institution. His prediction came true as the early church fathers of Roman Catholicism rejected God’s blessings of sex by forcing priests and nuns to take vows of celibacy and turning married lovemaking into an activity of shame (1 Timothy 4:1-3).

Step 1: Go to God’s Word for the Truth About Sex

To protect Christians, Paul gave a simple process for recognizing and overcoming false religious teachings regarding sex and procreation. The first step in God’s formula for solving all marriage problems, including inhibitions, is going to God’s word for the truth about lovemaking:

1 Timothy 4:4-5: “For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with gratitude; for it is sanctified by means of (1) the word of God and (2) prayer.”

The sexual relationship is sanctified or “set apart to be better than what the world experiences” by two processes. Step one is to go to God’s word for the truth about his design for loving marriages and the role of your attitudes in freeing your body for wonderful sensations.

The Bible teaches more about how to enjoy a passionate love life than any other area of marriage. Ecstatic love is the foundation of every aspect of marriage. If you miss it in the bedroom, you miss it everywhere.

False Teachings About Marriage Abound

As Paul warned, many false teachings about God and the love relationship abound and keep Christians from enjoying wonderful, passionate marriages. For example, failure to realize that sex is more emotional for men than it is for women harms both men and women. Likewise, many books and blogs promote mastering techniques for becoming an excellent lover while neglecting attitudes that turn the body on to ecstasy. 

Studying God’s word about emotional and physical love and what it means to enjoy a one-flesh relationship frees both men and women from false beliefs and damaging practices.

Reading Together Completes Step One and Moves You Toward Step Two

Grasping the facts objectively about men and women and how they love each other is the goal of reading together this new book and my other books in this series. As I’ve said before, reading together isn’t for solving all your problems right now. Instead, you’re focusing on fine-tuning your understanding of the scriptures about marriage and lovemaking.

The rule is: You can’t accuse your spouse of anything; you can only talk about what you’re learning that you’ve misunderstood or are doing wrong.

My other books have questions at the end of each chapter to help you fine-tune your understanding of the scriptures and apply them to your daily life. As you go through the questions and hear your mate talk about his or her childhood, feelings, and attitudes, you will begin to see your spouse in a new light. You will start to develop sympathy and understanding for each other. It will become easier for you to support and love each other.

A young millennial husband who went through the books by reading and discussing them with his wife said, “Working together is hands down the most effective and soul-soothing way to grow into oneness.”

Step-one objective knowledge has carried us to the edge of the bridge to authentic manhood and womanhood. However, the individual man and woman must do more than merely understand to cross it, which brings us to the second step. The second and all-important step in resolving the problem of inhibitions requires a subjective approach. The man and the woman must inquire into their attitudes and emotions that prevent them from achieving maturity and ecstasy.

Inquiry into Attitudes and Emotions Gives Insight

The kind of knowledge one gains in this way we call insight. If one can get healthy insights into the attitudes and feelings upon which one’s own inhibitions rest, one can resolve the problem entirely.

Inhibitions Are Like an Emotional Log Jam

Facing emotions and attitudes may seem hard and frightening. Everyone knows how complex emotions are, how difficult it is to understand them, and how multi-faceted every human being is. But I wish to tell you now that the whole approach can be kept simple. Sexual inhibitions are like a log jam on a narrow stream. If two or three logs jam together, all the other logs will pile up behind them, forming a complicated maze that stretches backward sometimes for miles.

Free Two or Three Logs to Release the Whole Jam

However, to release the jam, all one has to do is free the first two or three logs. Then the others will resume their unimpeded journey.

Attitudes About Masculinity and Femininity Jam Up the Logs

The emotional log jam we call inhibitions is held in place by two disruptive attitudes:

1. A negative attitude toward the opposite sex
2. A negative attitude toward one’s own sexuality

Insights Can Overcome Distorted Attitudes

We have seen these negative attitudes in every form of inhibitions and have seen how they function. If the individual can come to grips with these two attitudes and dislodge them, the free flow of masculinity and femininity toward health and maturity will resume. Insight can dislodge these hindering attitudes and keep them dislodged.

*PRD: Pray an Interview-Type Prayer

Dr. Robinson's step two equals the second part of God's formula--going directly to God in an interview-type prayer for help in implementing what you've learned.

1 Timothy 4:4-5: “For everything created by God is good, and nothing is to be rejected if it is received with gratitude; for it is sanctified by means of (1) the word of God and (2) prayer.”

“Prayer” (enteuxis) means “a falling in with, meeting with, an interview, coming together, for which an interview is held, a conference or conversation, a petition, supplication” (Thayer 218).

“Prayer” is not your usual word for prayer since it occurs as a noun in only this passage and 1 Timothy 2:2. The word is used only six times as a verb in the New Testament. Studying the verb form of enteuxis reveals exactly what this type of prayer involves.

Two examples use the verb form of enteuxis in situations where something bad is reported about someone else: “Elijah . . . pleads with God against Israel” (Romans 11:2) and Festus told King Agrippa, “the Jews appealed to me, both at Jerusalem and here, loudly declaring that he [Paul] ought not to live any longer” (Acts 25:24).

Once you learn God’s truth about marriage and lovemaking, God wants you to go to him in an interview-type prayer and lay your emotions and thoughts bare before him—don’t hold anything back. The interview is not like you do for a job where you present only your accomplishments and best qualities. In your interview with God, you discuss your faults and what you need to do to overcome them.

Examples of Interview-Type Prayers

If you’re a woman, you might pray, “Dear Lord, I’m a daddy’s girl, but my daddy neglected me. I’ve spent my life trying to earn his love. Help me face this and figure out the right attitudes to have toward my dad. Help me move beyond my childhood and learn how to love my husband from my heart. Help me not to fear my husband’s masculinity, but to treasure him for it.”

If you’re a man, you might pray, “Dear God, I grew up hearing my dad make Mom the brunt of his jokes. He’d laugh great big, and us kids would too. Mom even laughed. He was impatient with her the rest of the time. He didn’t show any respect for her. I have a low view of women because I’ve never been taught how to respect them. Help me value my wife’s femininity, and love her for it.”

Inhibited men and women nearly always have issues with their childhood that affect their ability to enjoy ecstasy with their mates. God’s formula works for these husbands and wives. But they must be honest in examining themselves and with God in seeking his help and guidance in overcoming their inhibitions.*

Complaints Are Irrational Defenses Against Childhood Abuses

Most of your complaints against your mate are irrational feelings erected as defenses against childhood misunderstandings, fears, and abuses. They have no real basis in truth. They do not pertain to your spouse as she or he is.

*PRD: The Apostle Paul Said It’s Time to Grow Up into Love

The Apostle Paul concluded his famous chapter about the characteristics of love this way:

1 Corinthians 13:11: “When I was a child, I used to speak like a child, think like a child, reason like a child; when I became a man, I did away with childish things.”

Marriage forces you to grow up emotionally or to stay loyal to family and locked into childhood thinking. To enjoy incredible lovemaking, you have to put effort into soulmating. As a Christian, that means you must learn the truth about God’s design for men and women and let go of your childhood prejudices through interview-type prayers.

Case History: Brother Caused Man to Reject God at 4 Years Old

An older man tells the story of when he was 4 years old, his mother often sent him and his older brother to the barbershop together. The barber was a preacher who frequently spouted hell, fire, and brimstone scriptures while he worked.

The older brother always tried to get his hair cut first. When he finished, he baited the barber with a religious question. He took great glee in watching his younger brother’s pain at being trapped in the barber’s chair with religious fury bombarding his ears. The older brother laughed on the walk home.

The older brother’s pranks led this man to reject God when he was only 4 years old. Now as a senior citizen, he immediately assumes that any individual who believes in the Bible or God is deceived. He refuses to examine his beliefs with his adult brain and stays locked into 4-year-old pain.

Lovemaking is for emotionally healthy adults—not for people acting out childhood emotions.

Case History: Husband Tried for 20 Years to Save Marriage

I’ve witnessed several times that hidden feelings make truth useless. In one instance, the husband was extremely frustrated with living in a sexless marriage. He tried for over 20 years to get his wife to acknowledge their problem. He approached her by romancing her, referring to the scriptures, begging, crying, and even responding with anger—all to no avail.

Finally, he gave up and had an affair. He begged his wife to divorce him so he could marry a loving woman. She refused, promising she would change.

She came to see me. I asked what she thought when she read 1 Corinthians 7, where Paul told wives to lovingly satisfy their husband’s sexual desires.

“I always had an excuse when I refused him, so I didn’t think those verses applied to me,” she said. “But my husband’s adultery and my sexual coldness have been exposed to the whole congregation. I know I’m in sin, and I’m determined to change.”

I met with her only one time as we were moving out of state. I gave her a copy of my two books, including God’s People Make the Best Lovers. She called several times over the next months to ask questions and to give an update. She laughed when she told me she was enjoying being her husband’s “sex slave.” She indicated she’d completely changed her attitude and was enjoying lovemaking.

Several years later, I had a chance to ask her husband how they were doing. His wife had slipped back into her old ways of rejecting him.

Learning the truth about God’s plan for lovemaking and how he created women to enjoy ecstasy equally with their husbands gave the wife insights for a little while. But she stopped her journey to learn how to love after her first few successes. She didn’t put the mental effort into dealing with her hidden feelings with interview-type prayers. Consequently, her subconscious negative attitudes slowly came back to rob her and her husband of the joy they shared temporarily. Sadly, I’ve witnessed this pattern several times.

Dr. Robinson goes into detail about how to bring out the hidden feelings and dispose of them. She concludes the chapter this way:*

How Much of Your Past Must You Uncover?

In giving the case histories of women suffering from the various forms and degrees of inhibitions, I have described the early origins of their problems. I should now like to raise the question of just how much knowledge of one’s early, often buried, experiences men and women must uncover to achieve maturity.

One Does Not Have to Reveal Much of the Past

In my opinion, most men and women suffering from inhibited desire and pleasure do not need to go into the matter of their childhood experiences to any extent at all. The evidence that their life was traumatic to some degree is contained in the fact that they do have problems in the present. It is always the immediate problem with which people develop their most profound and strongest emotions.

Present Emotions and Feelings Reveal the Past

The technique of “feeling” one’s way through one’s problem [as discussed in this chapter] works with all inhibitions. It is one’s present emotions, therefore, that constitute the major material of self-examination. Understanding present feelings and attitudes reveals the past, for it was in the past that these attitudes were established. They have changed little since their inception.

*PRD: What an incredible, life-changing formula for overcoming childhood-imposed inhibitions and developing orgasmic attitudes toward one’s mate and oneself! Thank you, Dr. Robinson, for opening up these amazing scriptures on how to solve all marriage problems. To God be the glory forever and ever!*

The Power of Sexual Surrender for Christians will not be available for several months. In the meantime, you can begin to incorporate God's two-step formula for solving all marriage problems by reading God's 11 Secrets of Sex for a Lifetime of Passion: Embrace the Song of Solomon's Soulmating and Lovemaking Guide and God's People Make the Best Lovers.

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If you haven’t participated in the Sexless Marriages Self-Assessment Survey, I encourage you to do so to learn about the 24/7 character flaws that often thrive in a sexless spouse’s life. You can also pick up three free eReports to help you overcome an unloving marriage. The survey helps you determine if you're dealing with a Level 1, 2, or 3 sexless marriage. Then the last eReport gives you a step-by-step procedure to tackle the love sins in your marriage based on the level of sin.

As a Certified Advanced Personality Trainer Patsy Rae Dawson developed a process to put individuals and couples on a fast-track to true intimacy by first taking off their survival mask to free up their God-given genetic passions. Are you in a sexless marriage? Take Patsy's free Sexless Marriages Survey with Self-Assessment Checklists. Six checklists of intensely personal simple questions help you analyze the true state of your relationship so you can start solving the core problems.

YOUR LOVE LIFE WILL NEVER BE THE SAME!